I'm broken
by BeautyIsEverywhere
Summary: Kisa can't get what Akito said out of her head. She knows she'll never be good enough. So she goes back to who she used to be. Quiet, afraid, broken. Can Haru save her from herself?
1. Chapter 1

Kisa's POV:  
I had successfully ignored everyone for the past two weeks except for my mother.  
Tohru, Haru, Yuki, Hiro, Momiji and even Kyo had been by, begging my mother to let me be seen. But she had sent them all away, as I requested, saying I was upset and I just wanted to be alone. But today was Akito's funeral. And as much as I'd like to, I can't ignore it, or skip it. That would be considered highly disrespectful. "Kisa?" I hear my mothers soft voice whisper as she knocks on the door.

"Yes mother?" I say softly, barely able to be heard.

"I brought you some clothes for Akito's funeral today, I thought they would look pretty on you," She smiles gently, she then lays the clothes on the bed.

"Thank you," I whisper, my eyes on the floor.

I hear her sigh sadly, "You're welcome Kisa," She murmurs before walking off to get ready.

I look at the clothes my mother brought. I see a black skirt, that wasn't cut to short, but it wasn't long either...It reminded me a bit of a school uniform. The shirt was a bit revealing though, it had a... longer neck plunge then I was used to, but I was growing up. I needed to start acting like it. No one likes a baby. Akito made sure I would remember that. I flinch at the memory, and go back to inspecting the outfit, a black tank top, with black stockings, black flats, and a black jacket.

I smiled for a minute, before grabbing my clothes and rush to the bathroom to get a shower. When I'm finished my mother knocks at the door, "Kisa? I was wondering if you wanted me to do your hair and make up... if you wanted."

I take a deep breath as I look in the mirror, and nod to myself. Act your age Kisa! All the other girls wear make up! You should as well! "Yes mother, I'll be out in a second," I mumble, as I run a brush through my hair, quickly brush my teeth and such, and throw a disgusted look at my reflection, before exiting the bathroom.

"Oh Kisa! You look so beautiful! I knew you would, hear sit!" My mother chirps, and in return I give her a dull smile.

"So, Hatsuharu will be walking with you. I would, but Kagura's mother asked me to come early to help her with some things, and I don't want you walking alone," She smiles.

I nod silently. She sighs, and goes back to making me look as close to pretty as I'll ever be. It's twenty minutes later when she tells me to go look. I comply and go down the hall to the bathroom and look in the mirror, What I see is a girl who looks nothing like myself. My eyelids are a dark drown, which complements my eyes nicely. She has lined my eyes with black eyeliner, and my lashes have been curled and look longer, and more noticeable. I'm wearing a soft brown for lipstick. My hair has been curled and tied back with a black ribbon, and I notice a pearl necklace at my neck that I don't recall putting on. "Kisa! I'm leaving! Haru will be here soon!" I hear my mother call as she leaves.

I sigh, and walk into the kitchen and take a seat, and look at my hands. Just staring at them, until I hear a knock at the door. Any other day I'd have been startled, but I don't really get scared anymore. I open the door to see Haru, who is looking handsome in a pair of black slacks, a clean and crisp white shirt, a black jacket, along with a black tie. "Hey Kisa. You look... different."

"I know. You look very nice Haru." I say softly.

"Not bad different, you look beautiful of course I ju-"

"I know Haru. I look more grown up then I normally do. It's about time though, hmm? I'm in high school now. I shouldn't be so childish." I say quietly.

He frowns," Kisa? What's going on with you?"

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**A/N:Please Review, I want to know I'm not wasting time, when I could be working on another. Or leave a review telling me how to make it better. By the way, Haru is in 10th and Kisa is in 9th**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kisa's POV:**  
"Haru... Can we please alk about this later? Please? We're gonna be late!"

"No Kisa! I want to know what the hell is going on with you!" He snarls.

"Haru! Please! Nothing's wrong with me, except we'll both be in trouble if we're late!" I huff

He frowns,sighs, and gives me a look that tells me we _**will**_be continuing this conversation, "Come on," He murmurs, grabbing my hand and drags me to the Sohma Family Cemetary.

**An Hour Later:**  
**Kisa's POV:**  
I'm nervous at Haru drags me back to my home, and I try to distract him enough for me to make my escape, "It was a beautiful service. Do you think Akito would have liked it? He probably did, I'm sure he left a note telling Hatori how he wanted things to be."

Haru grunts, before throwing open my front door and dragging me back into my room, "So, ready to tell me the truth?" He hisses, as he crosses his arms across his chest and glares.

"I did tell you the truth. Nothing's wrong."

He walks closer, and crouches until he's at my height, "Cute. Now, tell me."

"Why would there be something wrong, Haru?" I sigh.

"Because you're dressing like that! And you're acting just like you used to!"

"I'm acting like most girls my age do, Haru. They were make up, and less then prudish clothing, and they act quiet and mature."

"Kisa! You don't even talk to anyone!"

"Maybe I don't wish to speak to anyone, hmm?"

"Oh please. Come on Kisa, who upset you?"

I bite my lip and avoid his qondering eyes, "No one did Haru..."

"Please Kisa.. tell me?"

"Akito told me I acted like a silly child. And he's right. I needed to grow up, and I did. I can't spend the rest of my life acting like some insufferable idiot."

"You didn't act like a child. You acted like someone who was happy... Since when is that a crime?"

"Haru.. it's fine. I'm just glad someone finally told me how ridiculous I was."

"Kisa! You aren't ridiculous."

I frown and shuck off my jacket, "Oh please Haru. We both know it's the truth!"

"Kisa, you're insane! We lov-... Kisa... What are those?" He snarls as he grabs my wrist and looks at the straight cuts across my wrist.

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**Review Please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Kisa's POV:**

I consider lying, I really honestly do. But one look at Haru's face, and I decide that would be an awful idea. "Some are from Akito, and... and I made the others."

His face contorts into an expression of rage, "Kisa... why?"

"I was getting bullied again.. And this is how I dealt with it. But then Akito told me that... that I was worthless and stupid. Unneccessary... and I believed him. He did this with a piece of glass when he knocked over his teapot"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, why should you have gotten in trouble because of me!"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm worthless Haru! I act like a child. Everyone thinks so, and you know it Haru. I don't have any friends! I'm worthless Haru! And you'd be so much better off with out me!" I snarl.

"Shut up Kisa! We love you, okay? I love you! If something were to happen to you, I'd die! Do you understand that?"

And thats when I start to cry, whispering how I wish I was dead. And Haru just takes me in his arms, and lets me cry.


End file.
